I fought the urge to weigh myself today, and won.

There have been times in my life, that I have weighed myself many many times in a day. There have been times in my life, when the number on the scale has shaped my mood for the rest of the day. During these times, I have been robbed of full authentic living. I have been robbed of fully embracing my day and my experiences because that number plays on repeat in my brain. Weight fluctuates greatly throughout the day. Weight loss and gain can be any number of things. But despite knowing this fact, I still so often clung to that number as if it was all I had. Now, I am at a place in my life where I have to consciously chose not to obsessively weigh myself. I am doing so many self-care activities and I feel really good about them. I may however, weigh myself once in a while, just to see where I am at. I had an instant last week, where I did weigh myself, and I noticed it changed my mood slightly for that day. I will not claim to be free of all worry surrounding weight, since I am on a journey. However, often making the choice not to weigh myself, means I avoid exposing myself to the possibility of negative self talk that I work so hard to avoid. Maybe, one day, I will be able to see a number on a scale and have no feelings about it, but that is not now. That is not where I am at yet. I have made tremendous progress towards this goal, but I am still strengthening my mental muscles of self acceptance and love. It is different now, however. I might experience certain judgmental thoughts, but now I have a whole arsenal of loving, kind, and productive thoughts to replace the negative degrading ones. I really want to give myself the best shot I can at this thing. Today, I feel pretty great about myself and I’m going to do everything I can to support these positive feelings!