What??? I can’t believe it, I think I just binge ate, or over ate, or ate unmindfully. Whatever you want to call it, I ate while sitting in front of my computer typing, and I ate what usually would amount to about 2 lunches. So, I guess you could consider that a binge. I have not felt this urge in a while, and I guess I was surprised by it popping up. But, I shouldn’t be surprised. I felt it sneaking up on me ever since I sat down to start my paper 3 days ago. I write all of the time on my blog, but writing for school is a different thing entirely. Mostly, because I have to follow rules, and use APA format and quote various sources. I like learning from all of these sources and certainly I think credit should be given where credit is due, but I find tasks like this tedious. Perhaps, it is also that I have a page limit that I must stick to. My paper was supposed to be 6 pages, but I wrote 10 and had to cut it down. I am not great at brevity, which makes the freedom of a blog perfect for me. Perhaps it was also the fact that people around me were taking part in fun activities I had to pass on because I was working on my paper. Who knows, it seems like it was a culmination of many things, as it usually is. I also felt a little sad last evening after getting into an argument with someone earlier in the day, and a few other things that came up. But, mostly it was the sense of having something hanging over my head. I also really care if I write a quality essay or not since I am passionate about my work. So, perhaps it was perfectionism coming at me as well. Interestingly, now that I have sent my paper off, I feel instantly better. I feel like my whole world has opened up and a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It is not like I don’t have other responsibilities, because I do. But, something about school work feels different. I have never even thought of this before as I have never addressed this as an issue before. However, as I think back on all my years of schooling, I can certainly recall many late night study sessions involving food or coffee. When I think about my career however, I think I have “under ate” at work, not feeling like I had time to eat, and then over ate when I got home. I am intrigued by this difference. I think I feel a little anxious, like just wanting it to be done. I know I can’t do anything until I finish it, so I eat perhaps to quell the anxiety? I am glad however, that I am learning to think about these triggers. So, perhaps in the future I will have more insight into this situation. I feel a little guilty, but I know that will not get me anywhere. I must have self compassion and remind myself this is all a learning experience. I am on a journey and I am improving. It will just take time and patience. I wonder if anyone else has had similar experiences?