Why being my own Valentine is better than pretending it’s not Valentine’s day.


Please note the random rock sculpture. I’m just really super into rock sculptures, and I think they compliment any card or picture nicely.

Happy Valentine’s day!! I have to admit that I woke up this morning a little happy that it was Valentine’s day. (I was surprised too) I have heard many a heated conversation about Valentine’s day. Some people think it should be gotten rid of, or that it is ridiculous. Some people fall into a deep depression because they are alone. Others scream, ” leave me alone to celebrate with my lover in peace!”

It is unfortunate that Valentine’s day is surrounded in such hostility. I remember my dad buying me flowers when I was little and that used to really make my day!

However, I have a suggestion: just be your own Valentine if you feel like you really NEED one.(or just do it anyways because it’s really cool and liberating) That’s what I’m doing and have done whenever single on Valentine’s day. It’s something I kind of wish I could stick with it even when dating someone on Valentine’s day.(Not sure what that says about me)

Let me explain, about 5 years ago, a relationship with my boyfriend of 1000 years ended somewhere around this time of year. I knew it was really over and the thought of losing someone who was a significant part of my life was really weighing me down. Then, Valentine’s day came. I became even more upset then I previously was. I really felt so alone and not even flowers from my dad were going to cheer me up. (Thinking back now, I actually do not recognize that tear filled person of those days clinging to the memory of someone I had deeply loved, but never the less that WAS me.) I think this was mostly because after you end a relationship, all of the good things seem foremost in your memory, and somehow all the blinking red lights that say, “this really isn’t meant to be” are nowhere to be found. But of course after all these years I’ve gained a lot of perspective.

However, I think gaining that foot hold into the world of perspective and pulling myself out of sadness came on Valentine’s day of that year. You might think “being your own Valentine” sounds really sad, weird, great, corny. Whatever reaction comes to mind, for me it was AWESOME and most of all it was empowering. I was saying I do not need another person or external expectation to define this day or any day for me. I can show myself love on any day! So, besides all the internal conversation about Happy Valentine’s day Valentine, I also put my money where my thoughts were and took myself for a massage! I started to realize that I like my own company. I actually like hanging out with myself! This attitude has had a significant impact on my life. I have gone on vacation alone, hiking alone. Some of my most cherished memories are actually doing things alone. I have met really amazing people and had the opportunity to really take in my surrounding! Of course, I love having people along too, but I feel really happy knowing, “I can be alone and not decompose.”

One example of why being your own Valentine can be better than having one(that is a lover of sorts):

One awkward Valentines moment that can come is when Valentine’s day rolls around and you’ve only been dating someone for about a week. There is the fear that they will buy you something after only a week of dating, or you will feel like you should get them a little something and then they get you nothing. You really can’t even say, “please don’t get me a card or flowers, or even draw me a heart since we’ve only been dating a week,” because then you will look unromantic among other things. Although, I think I’m kind of into the last option, but I would probably mumble something like I don’t know if you were going to get me a card or anything and either way that s great. No card is great, getting a card also great. Let’s not do cards or candy hearts or anything since we’ve known each other a week. Then I would probably mention how awkward the moment is and make some joke. I know smooth right……It’s ok if you want to steal that last line. (I won’t judge)

Happy Valentine’s Day Me! Happy anniversary too I guess! It’s the anniversary of realizing I can be my own Valentine/travel buddy if I want to! Empowerment feels really amazing. BOOM! I’ll take it!

2 thoughts on “Why being my own Valentine is better than pretending it’s not Valentine’s day.

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