“I was bad this weekend…I cheated on my diet, I was good, or I only ate xyz.” This can even go so far as “I had a bad weekend.” When asked why we state, “because I ate everything in my house.” Thus, the definition of the entire weekend or worse you as an individual is solely based on how you ate.
How many times have we heard this and or said it ourselves? How many times have we become wrapped up in this scenario of self blame or judgement? When we take a step back with objective eyes this situation looks like a person exhibiting a behavior in response to something. However, when we are wrapped up in the emotions, it can feel like the house of cards is crumbling down around us. What if I told you that whatever food you choose to put into your mouth, your self-worth remains THE EXACT SAME!!! What??? That’s right! You may even know this intellectually, but how do we feel when we “go off our plan.” Here are some emotions I have felt when, “going off a plan.”
Emotions felt when “going off a plan”:
Out of Control
Like I am drowning
You get the picture….None of them are nice and none of them support me to live a happy life. But none the less they creep in and thus, I must acknowledge their presence. Hello thoughts!
So some want to refrain the phrase above and say, well I am still good, just my eating is bad. I STILL HEAR JUDGEMENT!!!!!
It is scary to detach ourselves from judgement. Judgement keeps us safe. It denotes some form of control. I might think subconsciously for example, “if I am judging myself at least I know my actions are not ok. Thus, somehow I am still an ok person.” hmmmm what is wrong with this? Well, Shame for starters. Shame stops us from getting to know ourselves better and from learning. Instead, we feel like a school child forced to sit in a corner. We may even feel like I am going to judge myself before anyone else does. What else might we say when faced with a difficult situation where we feel the urge to judge ourselves? We might say that’s interesting let me examine my emotions or my feelings when I made those choices. Let me also throw myself some self compassion and self-love while I am at it. I might even picture myself being wrapped in a really warm blanket of unconditional love. ALL GOOD OPTIONS. Let me also believe and understand that I can let go of judgement because I am enough, I am safe, and I am whole.
Society tells us our self-worth is dependent on any number of things we may(in society’s opinion) do good or bad. But I am calling bullshit on that one. The first step is to notice that voice of judgement speaking to you. After awhile its voice becomes softer and softer. A new voice creeps in, called self-confidence.