Dear Avoidance, I Bought you Flowers.

Avoidance: A Theme a Trigger

Dear Avoidance,

I bought you flowers today. First, I bought them for myself to lighten up my house. Then, I thought of you and how I have used you for so long, and how you have done your best to help me. Thank you avoidance, for some things have seemed far too challenging to deal with. Avoidance. I feel you sneaking up when confrontation seems too hard or when I am afraid of failing myself or others. I see you there ready to help me, when I want to hide myself from the world so that they do not know the pain I am in. However, look avoidance, the more I have used you, the less I have been able to rely on myself. The less I have been able to handle rejection or disappointment or real feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I do not always seek you out. For, I know I do not always need you. Sometimes my own strengths and abilities overwhelm me and I cannot believe what I am truly capable of. But today avoidance, I did not use you. I did not seek you out. I stood in the face of discomfort and said “bring it on”. Bring on whatever may come. For this all is just a part of life, as is avoidance. But, today I bought you flowers as a thank you ,but also as a way to say, “I might not need you as much as I thought I did and that you will be seeing less of me.”

Yours Truly,

ED